Day 28

My last entry spoke about the terrors we faced in the caverns below the city. Can you become numb to seeing these horrors over and over again? Perhaps. Feels like I have; I no longer want to hide from childish nightmares, merely survive. We fought more goblins, more sinspawn, and that damned quasit. It seems, though, that our time in the city has allowed us to prepare for what we knew we would face, and we have come through victorious. The quasit shall hopefully no longer haunt my dreams.

I spoke with Father Zantis. If truly good men actually do exist, I would place him among their number. It is easy to see why he chose the path he did. He is honest, compassionate, and in his own way a leader and protector of the people. He is quietly confident, even if he doesn’t have all the answers. I daresay I admire him, and I appreciate the time he gave me as we talked. I didn’t get answers to many of my questions, but I think I must be the one to answer some of them. He was so easy to trust. I confided some things I would never have told anyone else. It was a relief to let some of it out. I felt a…calm after our talk. Not peace, I doubt that I can ever feel true peace. It must have affected me more than I realized because I nearly referred to my colleagues as friends. Out loud, no less! A bit embarrassing, and completely out of character. I can’t have friends, remember? Friends are a weakness to be used against you. It makes for a lonely existence, but it’s better this way. A small part of me can’t help but wish that wasn’t my reality.

Our preparations have given me both information and a better understanding of the city as a whole. Sand Point is no large metropolis, but it has all that the folk here need as well as some treasures and services for the occasional adventurer. It really is amazing what has been built here over time. Food, shelter, industry, knowledge, vice, entertainment, and religion all within the city’s borders. There’s even a theater (which, by the way, will be running a play of the goblin battle during the festival with all of us as the stars—still not sure how I got pulled into that). As long as there are bars and entertainment, one will find a fairly satisfied population. What was it my father called it? Oh yes, bread and circuses. Growing up as the daughter of traders developed in me an interest in the ebb and flow of people. My dad used some fancy scholar’s word to describe it. It eludes me now. Sochologist? Socilogist? Sociologist? Yes, perhaps that was it. If things had gone differently, my parents might have sent me to some university to study. Maybe even to this Magnamar that I’ve heard mentioned a few times now. I wonder what my life would be like had I become a scholar. Much like Quink’s, I think. I’m not sure I would have been satisfied with the quiet life, even if it had shielded me from experiences like those of the last week.

One hard moment over the last few days was the surprise of a goblin attacking a family inside their home. After the goblin was killed, we were able to piece together what happened. The group thinks that the goblin ran away and hid during the attack at the festival. It burrowed under the floor of the little boy’s closet and room, only surfacing because starvation drove it to hunt. Unfortunately, it killed the father before we arrived with help. Finding out what this goblin had managed to do made us worry that others had also found hiding places beneath some of the homes in the city. We did a sweep, but found nothing. And then the mother had to be told. I do not envy Suzy that duty. I know what that pain feels like. It’s like your whole world is ending and you don’t know what to do. You can’t even see or think beyond the moment because the pain is too piercing, too all-encompassing. I lost my entire family and those few close friends I made before the Thief Lord’s lessons sank in. Oh yes, I know how that pain feels. I hope for her and her child’s sake that they are able to find peace with Father Zantis.

And the quasit is dead. I really can’t say that enough. She’s dead. Dead, dead, dead. In the course of gathering information since our last encounter, we made a contact, Sable Sorn. She runs a monastery not far from Quink’s house. While Quink has been a veritable wealth of information about the Thasselonians, Ms. Sorn’s collection is far more expansive in content. We were able to find out more about the quasit and what we could use to defeat her. Turns out, it’s as simple as cold iron. Man, was she pissed when she found out we had discovered her weakness. Bitch could really scream. At least she can’t hurt us or the people of Sandy Point any longer. One good thing came out of my experience with the quasit. I feel like my mind has become sharper. Hopefully, my next experience with such a creature won’t have me running (or walking) away.

I’m starting to get a sense of a much bigger plot than the one we find ourselves untangling in Sand Point. The Thasselonians seem to have been really powerful, with powerful weapons and powerful magic devices, and yet they are gone. What could have wiped them out? The only answer I want to consider is the gods, and from what Quink has already said that seems to be the reigning theory. That rune well we closed creeped me out, especially when Suzy used it. It didn’t seem right for a cleric of light to be using something so dark, even if her reasons (and ours) were pure. I’m a coward for not stepping forward. Doubly so because I lack the courage to apologize for it. Oh yes, no worries about me becoming Good just yet; I’ve proven yet again I’m too selfish. By the way, today was the first time I’ve ever seen the orc- man at a loss for words. One avatar of Cadin Calin and he’s a frozen, babbling mess. It was amusing in a way, and yet not. I just hope the Ataxian keeps his timing in mind (though I doubt any god or goddess would trouble to think about so insignificant a thing as our convenience). If he were to suddenly appear in the heat of battle, I think our party’s effective shield would no longer be so effective. Ah well, the orc man seems happy, and Suzy is positively beaming with happiness for him. I guess we could call this a Special Moment.

I’m not sure how else to end this except to say that I’m bone-tired and need my bed.